The Business Blues

I have a case of the business blues…  On reflection I knew this would happen.  I have what most people call a “bubbly” personality, and so I have found throughout my life people perceive me as confident, organized (where they get that idea from I really don’t know!) and with leadership ability.

When I know these are all just lovely euphemisms as follows:

BUBBLY = actually incredibly shy, but I just put on a smiley face and agree with everyone to keep everyone happy.

CONFIDENT = the same as above, but mainly I’m impatient, so rather than sit in a crowd where everyone is too scared to put their hand up, wasting my precious time, I’ll stand up for a job or say my piece.  NOW CAN WE PLEASE MOVE ON! NEXT!!!!  (hardly the patience you’d expect from a teacher I know, but kids are easy to be patient with, they’re still learning, adults – you’ve had your chance, get on with it…)

ORGANISED= this must be where people assume I know more than them (probably because I’m always the one talking in a group) and everyone seems to assume that because I’m a female and a teacher I have everything at my finger tips.  They believe I have a hand bag full of felts, coloured pens, erasers, panadol, tampons, plasters and just what ever may come in handy.  Sadly, I have owned a handbag for just over a year, I never have a pen in it, I’m trying my best to use a diary, but I am still carrying tampons even though I’m pregnant!

LEADERSHIP ABILITY:  This must truly be a euphemism for “No one wants to do it so we will tell Laurene to take charge, she always has an opinion, never says no, and she just smiles all the time.”  Truth is, I hate it when the buck stops at me, I find conflict extremely hard to deal with, and although I think I can delegate I still really want to know what everyone is doing.  Then I’m extremely forgetful, turning up late everywhere and unprepared.

My personality is also such that I’m a little like a faulty sky rocket.  Full of potential, great ideas, I get people excited, inspire people, once I’m lit I take off with full power and fury, and just when I’m on the edge of the atmosphere, I explode… falling….. and crumbling to the ground….

I just get bored and lose momentum.  This is how I feel about Munchkins at the moment.  I am very lucky to have a well grounded, level headed fiancée who knows a thing or two about leadership, management and business.  He also has a vested interest in Munchkins, financially and emotionally, because he has to tolerate me and my moods!

The concept I am currently struggling with is the vast vats of money it takes just to set things up, and with the products we sell at Munchkins our returns or cash flow in is small and slow.  To improve our sales we need to advertise, that costs money, to get money we need more sales, but to get more sales we need to advertise – get my point?  It is very frustrating, but very common I hear, and hope.

I have learnt so much about book keeping and using MYOB but what I know really isn’t even the tip of the iceberg.  I blindly go about entering my invoices and following the steps my great teacher Donna has shown me, only to forget it, stuff it up and go back to her 2-3 months later to have her teach me all over again.  The problem is I don’t really understand anything about accounting – AT ALL.  I didn’t even take Accounting at College.  But I’ll get there.

On the plus side, as there has to be a silver lining somewhere….

Working for myself means that I can run to the beat of my own drum.  If I’ve had enough of looking at the computer, I can go and read my latest book about Steiner Principles in Early Childhood Development.  I can ring a friend with out saying “Gotta go, have to be at work in 10 minutes”  because I’m always running late.  I can go and prospect bricks and mortar businesses to sell our brand.  I can pick Cadell up early and take him for a swim.  Or my favourite activity when Cadell is at day care – just go and sleep while the baby in my tummy is not hiccupping, or kicking out the side walls of my abdomen!

So while I’m feeling a bit low about business at this very moment, I know the reasons behind what we are doing are the best thing for our family and for me right now.  Its just those little parts of my personality that can bring me down, but they will also bring me back up again.